How Change Actually Feels

I rarely hear people talk about how terrifying change feels in our body

A death and rebirth if you will…

We as a society glamorize the end game, but what about the actual process?

—

Well it can feel truly terrifying

Like the world is falling out from underneath you…

Or you’re stepping off the edge of the Earth

And then there’s the mind…that can’t comprehend what the fuck is happening

Your thoughts go in every direction and a deep anxiety sets in

Am I going the wrong way…?

Why is this so painful… this can’t possibly be right…

HOW could this be right?

These are feelings, and sensations I’ve never felt before…

No one else is talking about this so it must be wrong?

I must be doing it wrong, I must be broken…

Ok stay with me though….

I know it feels unbearable and terrifying

But this time period is also a part of your life

These emotions are transporting you to the bigger picture

And they’re here to represent that what we’re doing is challenging

Showing up while under construction is no easy task

Neither is embodying the changes

The truth is we all experience change to some degree

You might not shout it to your neighbor passing by

But It is a relatable experience at the end of the day

And if you’re really lucky you may have someone in your circle who prepares you for the experience of life

— A vast array of everything —

But if you don’t have that person… well then you can end up lost (and writing this journal entry)

Just know, you’re not going in the wrong direction…

Change is hard

Not everyone will get it, you may (definitely) lose people, you may say many goodbyes

But this isn’t the end

This is just the beginning

K